Smart Old Blue He Took The Milky Way
For reasons that I have never been able to entirely fathom I am a devotee of the Milky Way. Not, as some might hope, the bundle of stars, gas, planets, discarded socks and invisible alien civilisations that we call our corner of the universe, but the chocolate bar brought to life under that name on the fair isle of Great Britain.
This has led to many different endeavours over the years, from researching the history of the confectionary as deep as Wikipedia would allow (it’s based on one of the three bars that originally came in a 3 Musketeers in the USA, which in turn is now reduced to a single bar that is very similar to a UK Milky Way, the brand under which a pseudo-Mars bar is sold over the pond) to eating them in quantity. Even the strawberry ones, although my lovely flatmates gave my last pack of those away to trick-or-treating children while I hid from their candy-grabbing hands in my room. Halloween is not a time I enjoy.
One thing that I have been more devoted to than the rest of the ephemera surrounding the Milky Way is the 1989 television advert:
I even wrote up the words for posterity on a webpage on my site in ye olden dayes. So imagine my delight when I saw it appear again on the television this evening – not a remake but the actual advert. However, as I sang along I noticed that I was getting the words wrong, a strange occurence for something so indelibly burned into the collective consciousness of my peers, let alone my Milky Way obsessed mind (I wasn’t that much of a fan of the crispy wafer rolls, but they weren’t that bad), and a cold fear crept over me. Then, just at the best point of the advert, my worst fears were realised as a line was wholly changed:
…’cos he knows it won’t spoil his appetite!
became
…’cos he knows it’s gonna taste just right!
The following “Mmm, mmm, mmm!” sounded mocking, a hollow laugh ringing in my ears, projected from the mouth of a health and safety compliance officer from behind his plump and overfed wastrel’s hand, and the advert ended with me in metaphorical floods of tears. It’s political correctness gone mad, I tell you, where a company selling a chocolate bar can’t use the fact that the empty calories it contains are put together in such a way as to allow the further consumption of food, even if that food will take you over your recommended calorific intake for the day, as a key selling point!
I’ve eaten Milky Ways between meals for years, although not while I lived at home due to the ‘rules’ laid down my parents about how eating chocolate bars between meals was bad for me, and it’s done me no harm. Yes, I may not be the sleek, ocelot-like figure of a man that I see when I look in the special mirror that I ordered from the fairground remainder store, but I can sing the words to the original Milky Way song without getting them wrong. And for that singular achievement I remain proud.
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Posted: June 15th, 2009 under blog.
Tags: milky way
Comments
Comment from the watcher
Time 3rd July 2009 at 9:15 am
the reason for the change is due to the insecurities and paranoias of the executives who are put in charge of marketing milky way.
they want to use old adverts (like persil and so on are also doing) because the creative agencies they employ cannot create anything new that they are convinced by and they long for the good old days when sales were so much better. they would qualify these actions as using the brand’s heritage to connect with consumers; the reality however, is that it is symptomatic of an inability to develop the heritage. and of course, to re-run old adverts is an incredibly cheap way to create advertising.
but, they also long to be ‘cool’, and have decided that ‘not spoiling your appetite’ and ‘being smart’ is uncool terminology and won’t connect with their target markets. which begs the question why the hell do the re-run then when you have to compromise it?
Comment from Thinchap
Time 21st July 2009 at 9:54 am
They also changed “smart” old blue to “good” old blue I believe, philistines !
Comment from billy
Time 21st July 2009 at 9:59 am
I missed the smart->good transition…
Chocolate does make you smart though, look at me! I know stuff and all that kind of thing.
Comment from Rob
Time 21st September 2009 at 8:28 pm
I wish I could kill an overweight health and safety chump! It makes my blood boil! ARRRGGHHHH!
Comment from Tony
Time 17th October 2009 at 9:10 pm
At least I’m not going mad – they even changed the last line from smart old blue to good old blue! :/
Comment from Mrs B
Time 30th June 2009 at 8:59 pm
I came across this post as the words to this advert are similarly ingrained into my memory. I was just ready to telephone my entire family to tell them that the advert was indeed back when the same cold feeling engulfed me… ‘Smart Old Blue’ has become ‘Good Old Blue’.
I can only think of one logical reason for this. My sister was only four at the time and was convinced that there was a shade of blue known as ‘tomato blue’. It took us a while but we realised that she’d got this from mishearing the advert. Presumably she wasn’t the only daft child to come to this conclusion… or perhaps there’s another reason.
Just thought I’d share that.