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Good things come to those who wait?

Guns N Roses are a weird band for me. Back in the dim and distant past at the dawn of my questionable musical taste I was offered an album swap – my unwanted copy of Pearl Jam’s ‘Ten’ (the ‘unwanted’ part of that situation still haunts me to this day) up for either ‘Use Your Illusion 1’ by GNR or ‘Hapy Nation’ by Ace of Base. I suspect that you can guess which way I jumped. It’s a day that now sticks permanently in my memory, as does the tune to Baron Munchausen (he took a trip to the moon, you see…).

However, after a few months of almost constant abuse from my musically aware peers I did get round to purchasing (or at least taping…my flagrant disregard for the IP of musical artists in my youthful state shocks me to the core these days) all of the Guns N Roses albums, even preceding to transcribe all the tracks on the generally unappreciated punk covers album ‘The Spaghetti Incident’. I, however, loved that album a) because they were punk songs and therefore easy enough for to transcribe and b) It was school holidays and I was bored at home in Vienna with very little to do apart from watch badly dubbed episodes of Married with Children, The X-Files, Babylon 5 and Star Trek TNG. You haven’t reached a proper motivational low until you are chanting “ENERGIE!”, with pointing, as Picard sits in his chair and tells baby Wil Wheaton to Engage.

So, what that overly long and probably unnecessarily revealing preamble leads to is Chinese Democracy. I just made a joke – did you see it? You can stick ‘Chinese Democracy’ on anything as a goal or item and it’s a joke – China is a communist country and democracy is as unlikely as Turkmenbashi growing his hair long and saying nasty things about his mother. When I heard the name of the new GNR album a while back I assumed that it was Axl Rose making an actually amusing joke: “Our album is taking so long to appear it’s like chinese democracy – people will talk about it from time to time but it’ll never happen”. I sort of wish they’d stopped there, as ‘Chinese Democracy is available for $9.99 exclusively from Wal*Mart” is nowhere as amusing a punchline.

Anyways, have an offer on at the moment, promising to refund you £3 of any money you spend on mp3s on Christmas or Boxing day – it was a £3 off code, but it seems that the potential for Amazon to scratch back a bit of cash through what minimal bank interest they can get became apparent and they changed their mind to this Father Ted style ‘The money was just resting in my account’ plan. I’ll keep an eye on my bank account on Jan 9th, hereon known as Refund Day. Anyways, they’re selling Chinese Democracy for £3 (see, that is still funny) so I’m now listening to it for sort-of free. My opinion so far – it’s definitely Guns N Roses, but seriously – 14 years and millions of dollars? That’s almost enough time and money to run a secret war to overthrow the real chinese government and install Axl as democratic president for life…

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