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We are but unto ants

I have become scared. There is now preamble, bear with Souffler plus fort que la mer 2017 trailer

I noticed today on, a site that I have become increasingly obsessed with as I have become addicted to the sweet drops that drip from Apple’s still milky udder, that the CEO of McGraw-Hill had broken a piece of news that most thought would be saved until tomorrow’s Apple show and tell about their much rumoured (and now pretty fucking certain) release of a tablet computer – it would be using a version of iPhone OS. Now, this isn’t particularly news to anyone keeping an eye on the way the tides were moving, with Charlie Stross predicting it 6 months ago and despite my frantic scrunched-up-eyes-wishing even me knowing that they weren’t going to stick a full version of Mac OS X on it, but the macrumors comments page quickly devolved into murmurings of how Terry McGraw would not hear the ninja who would disembowel him and that stealing The Steve’s thunder is a very easy way to get yourself dropped from the corporate Christmas card list. Being someone who works in an industry where McGraw-Hill are the #3 player (and that my lot are #4 in, although quite a chunk behind) I immediately went on a mild defensive. ‘Terry McGraw shits out companies like Apple for breakfast’, I thought to myself. ‘His publishing empire buys and sells commodities more pricey than Steve Jobs’s offal for mere shits and giggles’, my whisky fuelled imagination continued. ‘Fuck you, Apple, you fly-by-night metal and/or white box merchant, publishing and financial data looks down on you with the contempt you deserve’, I finished. I then went, of course, and performed the correct penance for taking the holy name of Steve in vain and while I bandaged my wounds I had a quick look on Google Finance.

  • McGraw-Hill – Market capitalisation: $10.78billion
  • My anonymous employer – Market capitalisation: ~$3bilion
  • Apple – Market capitalization: $185.49billion

My industry isn’t even in the same league. I am humbled and scared by the scary amount of cash that final number actually signifies – Apple as a single company are worth more than pretty much my entire market segment. We are mere dust under Steve’s loafer, but ants to Apple’s Burj al-Arab. May I never doubt you again, oh mighty Steve and your empire of Gap clad stormtroopers.

So, tomorrow at 6pm GMT the show and tell will start and something will be revealed by a man who will probably be wearing a roll-neck sweater. My feverish fanboy-ness is newly forged, so I will most probably be at work tapping away at the refresh key as I flick between ‘live update’ websites awaiting the news from the holy mountain. But at the back of that excitement for a product that I not only do not need but that will also be backordered until it is almost obsolete is a lingering doubt. An annoyance. A disappointment that the Apple Store at White City will most probably be jammed and that I won’t be able to get my Mac there to be fixed . It’s currently backing up the 115GB of randomness that I’ve managed to fill it with so far ready for me to hand it to a ‘Genius’ to get them to remove the copy of Doolittle by the Pixies that currently has decided that it likes being in my iMac more than it does not, jamming up the CD drive. The Steve sorely tests my patience with one hand and strums my inquisitiveness with his other. Oh, you tease.


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